Thursday, January 26, 2012

Is a Sugar Daddy a "Want' or a "Need"?

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I feel like a Chinese restaurant today, my post is kind of a combo platter.  I have one topic  from column A, one from column B.  Column A - Wants vs. Needs.  Column B - the Sugar Daddy arrangement.

Money is on my mind right now, a lot, So I share with you my brain bulimia, I've been binging on thoughts, now I'll purge.  As I've said before, due to my ex-husband that abandoned his duties as a Father of our three children, financially and physically, there have been times I've been destitute. Well, it's not only his fault, it's also mine that I don't have a degree in anything that would earn me any decent money.  I work in marketing and a lot of times hours get cut, clients don't pay, times are slow, that's life.  Everyone is quick to say, "just find another job"... well yea because those $60k a year jobs are just falling out of the sky.  *slaps forehead*  Silly me, I forgot about that extra engineering degree I have, let's just go get a job in that!  Not.  Oh wait perhaps I'll just pull that nursing degree out of my butt...

So, times are tough for me right now.  I need to find more project/job opportunities to make ends meet and feed 3 teenagers, which has prompted me to examine my budget.  This brings me to my first point, wants vs. needs.  Y'all need to get this one straight.  A "need" is something you must have to live, i.e. food, shelter, clothing.  A "want" is, well... anything else.  In lean times, pairing things down to "needs" only, enables you to get by.  Even when times aren't tough, trimming the fat and contributing more to savings helps prepare for future crises.  Anyway, you need to  be discerning about the needs, yes you need food, but surf and turf from Black and Blue is not wise when a can of Campbell's chicken vegetable soup serves your dietary needs just fine.  Not as pleasing to the palette of course, but it keeps you alive.

And you may be at wit's end and incredibly stressed out but a vacation is not a "need".  Sorry.  Neither is a new outfit, manicure, or cocktails.  Oh no, not my cocktails!  Uh, maybe we need to rethink that one.  I'm Irish, booze to us is like oil to a car!  Ok, ok just kidding.  No, alcohol and entertainment are not a "need", much as we'd like them to be, they can be benched 'til we get on track again.  *in fetal position sobbing*

Which brings me to Column B - the Sugar Daddy arrangement.  I was discussing my issues with friends and someone of course suggested I find a Sugar Daddy.  A Sugar Daddy is someone who lavishes money and gifts on a woman just for the pleasure of her um, company.  (actually I have known kept women that said sex was not part of it)  Now, me personally, I've never been able to take gifts, money, etc., from a man that I didn't intend to pay back or didn't have a deep, emotional ongoing relationship with and I gave back in love and support.  I just can't use men.  Sometimes I kick myself about that when I'm taking money out of my kid's piggy bank to  buy some milk.  But alas, it's either the Catholic guilt or honest upbringing that prevents me from taking some poor schmuck for a ride.

But sometimes I see these women that married for money, got divorced and are now financially secure to live on their terms... and I wonder if I'm stupid.  It got me thinking, and someone told me there are actual websites to find these arrangements.  Well, you know I just couldn't resist because people watching is like a drug to me.  I'm like that kid who's Mom says to stay out of her room near Christmas time, and I'm headed straight in there, going in for the treasure hunt!  I went to a certain website and for experimentation purposes only, signed up.  Seriously, I didn't sign up to get a free meal, I just want to eavesdrop!  As you all suspected, there aren't many "real" people on there, and those that are, are completely clueless of what a Sugar Daddy is and think they are on Match.  Seriously, a few guy's profiles said, "I'm looking for a really sweet girl to love".  Dude, really?  Is the word "sucker" tattooed on your forehead?  And some girl's profiles say, "I'm financially secure but I'm looking for a mature, sophisticated man to spend time with".  Bitch, please.  Either stop the denial, or go back to Match.

What have I figured out so far?  Nothing.  I'll have to keep you abreast on my experiment.  I'm determined to figure out if this Sugar Daddy (or Mama) thing is real and or lucrative.  In the meantime, I'll be eatin' my damn soup...  the side dish of integrity or stupidity is yet to be determined.


  1. Madge, you're brilliant and quirky and I love you're blog. I hope we cross paths again soon. When I land my dream job, drinks are on me!

  2. Yay, thank you honey! I know I'll be seeing you again soon, stay on the networking circuit!

  3. Madge, I'm with you on this one. I can't sleep with a man just because he pays me. I'd make a lousy prostitute.

    "But he's ugly!"

    Some women are just better actors than I am.

  4. Madge, You are my Dictionary Bride ... I keep expanding all the time. :-)

  5. You always manage to surprise me. I bet Tony was startled to read this one, too!

  6. I'd rather want less---and splurge on the lower-sodium Campbell's soups. I so stupid...