Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hire Me, I Give Good Hair!

Having been born a creative being is a blessing and a curse.  Oh, I have a lovely imagination and can be mildly entertaining, but financially... I ain't gonna' lie, honey it blows.  Blows like a humpback whale.

I went to college for four years in the mid 80s for broadcasting.  It was a new up and coming "thing".  But it turns out when I got into the field, no one else had a degree in broadcasting, you didn't need one.  Any schlub could get into radio, in TV you needed to at least have good hair.  Oh, and they paid you minimum wage, they didn't have to pay more because everyone was clamoring to get into radio and TV because they thought it was so cool.  It was kind of cool, but it was also run by major league nerds-turned-narcissists.  The worst kind.

The industry then got even more competitive as ownership laws loosened and stations were consolidating.  I needed to reinvent myself.  The route I chose at the time was stay at home mom but I still did some marketing stuff on the side that I learned while being a sales assistant in TV.  Thus began my long long long journey of doing piecemeal marketing work and searching for jobs on and off for 17 years.

So, I feel well-qualified on the topic of job searches.  I may not always find my dream job, but I guarantee you, I always find A job.  Something, anything.  I don't understand when someone says, "I've been out of work for a year".  I do understand that sometimes you can make more on unemployment than working retail or some other entry level job, but if it's been that long, it's time to regroup.  And you have to accept the fact that you will probably have to take a job that's barely tolerable until you find your ideal job again.  Life isn't fair, stuff happens, pull up your skirt, Sally and suck it up.

 In this economy in the past few years, job loss is all too common.  Everyone knows at least one person, if not more, who's been effected.  Once again I find myself looking for a job after having my hours cut at my current place of employment.  Unfortunately in my line of work, (marketing) my job is always the first to be cut when things are slow.  I would love to make this my full time job, but I've yet to find a way to make blogging lucrative.  So, if anyone would like to syndicate me in their publication, leave a comment with contact info below.  *wink*

(That's my professional look, take me seriously now?)

Ya' see what I did up there?  Anyone?  Bueller?  Bueller?  I asked for help.  Rule number 1, let everyone know you are looking.  Don't beg and whine or make a cardboard sign and stand on the corner of Monroe and I-490.  Be dignified and matter of fact.  A simple Tweet or Facebook status, even a broadcast email to friends... "I'm currently looking for a position in Prehistoric Pancake Making.  If you or anyone you know hears of any openings, I would greatly appreciate it if you could let me know.  I'll be glad to help you in anyway I can, as well.  Thanks."  It's as easy as that.  You'd be surprised how many people love to help.  The key to finding a job really is in "who you know".

Rule number 2... Network, network, network.  Oh and did I say network?  This is an offshoot of letting people know you are available.  Get out and meet more people and let them know you are available.  I know it may be tough for the less sociables out there, but it really has to be done.  There are so many networking events in this town, it's ridiculous.  Yes, they are mostly all free, sometimes there is maybe a $5 fee, but there are plenty to be had.  Get online and look up "networking events".  Also LinkedIn has tons of groups promoting networking events.  Also your local paper (available online) usually has a calendar of events.  If you are really stumped, just email me, I'll direct you on where to look.

I could go on and on with tips, but that's a good start.  Jesus, I can't hold your hand!  You gotta' just jump in and get going!  Well, but wait, you do need a decent resume.  Have someone dependable look yours over before you start sending it out.  And if you really suck at resumes, I HIGHLY suggest having a professional do it.  I write for a living and I still had a professional look over mine.  Hey, even best selling authors have editors, another pair of eyes is always wise.  Take it from your Auntie Madge.  Oh good Lord, I started channeling "Hee Haw", it's time for me to wrap it up...

It's all in who you know.  Start talking.  Ask for help.  Circulate resumes.  Get on LinkedIn. Be unique.  Stand out.  Hire Madge for all your marketing and writing needs.  *wink wink nudge nudge*


  1. Maybe it's time I updated the ole LinkedIn profile. Meh.

    If someone's out of work for a year, it means they really don't want to work. i don't know how they fight the boredom, but they must be doing something interesting.

  2. I tend to agree on that one. They either don't want to work, have clinical depression, or have delusions of gradeur on what type of job they deserve and are holding out.

  3. The money and the opportunities suck, but add stand-up comedian to one of the jobs you could do if you had to. You write well and your voice is so humorous and strong. Always a good read.

  4. I loved this and should I find myself out of work, I am going to HIRE you to be my P.R. specialist. Of course I can only pay you when you find me a new job!

    Really - very sound advice mixed with some bawdy humor. Love it!

  5. haha! Greatness. I really liked that. Informative & witty.
    (found you through jobhuntchat last night)

  6. Thank you so much Rianna! Come back again now, ya' hear?! :)

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