My Own 50 Shades of Grey: The Time I Delayed a Rock Show

In this blog having an adult survival guide theme, I explore the many ways I have survived life and all the various crises that come with it, in hopes it can give others some insight.  A vital part of surviving life is to live a little.  In wiping children's behinds, clipping husband's toenails, scooping up dog poop, working 50 hours a week, and finding the missing soccer cleat... you can forget who you are.  I firmly believe that experiencing your interests in life bolsters who you are, forges your identity and gives you more strength to get through the tough times.

I've had my kids 100% of the time for the last 3 years.  They are all teens now so I can still manage to get out for a while without needing a sitter.  But that's provided they don't have a game, concert, rehearsal, practice, hair appt., date, or work.  I thank God that when they were much younger and I was first divorced, their Dad took them every other weekend (mostly) and I had time to myself.  I could let loose a lot more when I had a whole weekend to myself.  Now, I go out and know that everyone is home waiting for me, it's like being a teenager again.  Oy.

I'm not your typical woman.  Most other women pick up hobbies such as scrapbooking, yoga, knitting, baking, couponing, paddle tennis or book club.  Me, I'm still a punk girl at heart.  I first got into alternative music (back then we called Punk and New Wave), around 1977 when I was in junior high.  So, I've been a sort of alternative interest person since I was a kid.  I like weird people, good music, dive bars, art exhibits, and great old school DJs.  However, I also enjoy golf, fine dining, wine tasting, PTA meetings and long walks on the beach.  You wouldn't notice my alter ego by my suburbanite appearance:

Oh look, it's Biff and Muffy!

About 6-10 years ago when I lived in Denver I used to frequent this place that was a converted warehouse space that housed a 3-4 bedroom apartment and performance space.  I had a few friends that lived there and they threw a monthly party that showcased a few bands each time along with other exhibits including things like art displays, poetry readings, tattoo artists, piercing artists, body painting, and even light S&M displays.  The S&M thing was incrediby tame, just some dude in a leather Speedo and harness strapped to a rack with a girl in an outfit that was a cross between dominatrix and hippie Earth Mother was just flogging him with one of those leather fringe-y things.  No biggie.  I think it was more of a tactile awareness seminar.

Are you afraid of me yet?

Yea, it was slightly a freak show, but I felt inspired there.  I let my inner weirdo free.  Everyone was incredibly loving and friendly, it wasn't seedy.  Anyway, for a while I was dating one of the fine young gentleman that lived there.  He played in a band but he was also a paramedic by day.  One night his band was playing and we planned to meet for the festivities.  I was a size 4 back then, and I showed up in a cute mini skirt and form fitting, cleavage baring top, and high wedge sandals.  I arrived to find him, let's call him "Ira", ready for his performance in just a pair of leather pants and no shirt.  Yes he was quite chiseled.  It was obvious that we both found what each other was wearing that night very appealing.  *ahem*

See, I'm trying to not make this sound seedy and lurid.  Because it wasn't.  ... Really!

He was slated to perform soon but we decided we needed some alone time, pronto.  We retreated to his room without haste.  I felt alive, I felt desired as a woman.  As we were locked in our intense lover's embrace *ahem* ... knocks started at the door.  We were too consumed with each other to pay attention.  They became increasingly more demanding "Ira, Ira, are you in there?"  He ignored them, I was flattered.  "Ira, come on man, we gotta' go on."  (apparently the rest of the band was on stage tuning up)  "Ira, are you in there with Madge?"  Finally he throws them a bone, er uh I mean he says "Yea, hang on, I'll be right out".  Apparently this was a signal for them to start the heckling.  "Get off the babysitter, Joel"  (a line from the movie "Risky Business")  That one made me laugh, and have trouble concentrating.  Soon, it seemed there were several people pounding on the door.  Oh sweet Jesus, did the whole place know what we were
up to?





At first I laughed, then as more voices were heard and then his shoulder length hair kept getting in my face, I decided it might be time to let the show go on, his show that is.  But um, the timing was good I guess, and uh we were finished anyway.  Uh yea, so we quickly got ourselves together and he ran out of the room to get on stage.  He told me we'd continue after the show.  Rawr!


There he was up on stage growling his usual growl, dripping with sweat and sex appeal, and he winked at me.  I was high on sex, gin and tonic, and rock 'n roll, my friends!  I just had the lead singer!  I held up a rock show. 

He ripped through the show and we did what any late 30 something, red blooded American, rock n' roll couple would do after the show... we passed out.  No, not like drunk-like passed out, sleepy passed out.  I have my moments but I don't think I'm still 25, duh.  But for a moment I remembered I'm alive, I'm fun, I'm desirable, I'm a woman, and I still have a pulse.  Ain't no lie.  So, that was fun. 

But remember, it's important to seperate that from the Mommy stuff.  Don't be doin' the more adult stuff in front of the kiddies.  Priorities.   At first it was hard not to feel weird when my kids came back home but I learned to realize I have two identities.   It's ok to be an adult woman with her own interests when kids aren't around.  And no the aforementioned scene was not my only hobbie, I did other things like work out, watch movies with girl friends, Irish women's club, dinner with friends, hockey games, you name it.  Don't judge!

My adult time reminded me that I'm strong and vibrant.  And refueled me to get through the tough times.  You don't have to neccessarily do the stuff I did, uh book clubs and jewelry parties are good too.  Maybe I should have just gone to book club?  Yea, there's a time for that too.  You guys really need to get out more.  :)