It's... Madge's Adult Survival Guide

Wise words. Good piece Nick

2012-06-03T02:23:34.547-07:00

Wise words. Good piece

Nick

Oh my, thank you so much! lol

2012-05-31T14:59:48.771-07:00

Oh my, thank you so much! lol

The last part of your post about just saying no......

2012-05-31T14:38:29.191-07:00

The last part of your post about just saying no.....well written and it gave me something to think about.
And the rest of the post? I can say with confidence....as a mother...YOU ROCK!

Yea, I've always said yes to everything, anywh...

2012-05-31T10:09:18.933-07:00

Yea, I've always said yes to everything, anywhere, anytime. I still have a little guilt but I need to draw the line somewhere. Good for you. And thanks!

Thank you!

2012-05-31T10:08:25.133-07:00

Thank you!

It's interesting, I know a lot of people who a...

2012-05-31T08:50:50.607-07:00

It's interesting, I know a lot of people who are finally learning how to say no once they get a little older. I try to say yes to most things and I am a bit of a people pleaser (or was in the past). But now I'm learning how to draw some boundaries when it's necessary for my own survival. Good for you! And congratulations on your son's graduation.

I love it! And vent away, you've earned it :)

2012-05-31T07:59:47.661-07:00

I love it! And vent away, you've earned it :)

I dated a lot of guys like that, too. Fortunately ...

2012-05-30T06:15:04.295-07:00

I dated a lot of guys like that, too. Fortunately I didn't marry one like that. I think it's a combination of him being retarded, but some of it is also on us as women. I think I used to joke too much and try to act like one of the guys. I also think I didn't heed warning signs before I got together with a guy. In retrospect their insensitivity wasn't such a shock. And guaranteed if my husband said that to me now, I'd walk without trying to figure out why the hell he was saying/doing what he was. But this is a very important post, and I loved hearing you think about it!

Hmmmm, I would have probably punched you. lol NO,...

2012-05-25T08:28:33.053-07:00

Hmmmm, I would have probably punched you. lol NO, I'm glad she was smart enough to understand your response.

So I train men to disrespect me... great. Oy.

2012-05-25T08:27:23.895-07:00

So I train men to disrespect me... great. Oy.

Good response! lol

2012-05-25T08:26:28.905-07:00

Good response! lol

Never have done it, thought it, never said it out ...

2012-05-25T07:57:04.333-07:00

Never have done it, thought it, never said it out loud or got caught looking.
Although I had a beautiful girlfriend who while sitting on the beach in Maui pointed out a woman and asked me, "she has a really nice butt, don't you think?"
I replied, "yes I suppose, but not as nice as that one over there!"
She never compared herself to another woman in front of me after that.

Speaking as a guy (@churchofcrowley) I would say t...

2012-05-24T19:38:05.613-07:00

Speaking as a guy (@churchofcrowley) I would say that it's a combination of C-because you did say that you're like one of the guys...and have at some point in your interactions with them allowed them to act this way around you. If you're dating them, then E. Any guy who would actively engage in that sort of behavior/asshatery around a woman he is supposed to care about is either a misogynistic pig (yes...I realize it's me saying this...that should give you some perspective) or so stupid as to be brain dead.

Going back to the C part of this for a moment; there are women I am very good friends with I could/would and have said these types of things around. They are like one of the guys when we're all hanging out and they're OK with this. They respond in kind about guys they notice. I have other women friends who I would never even think about saying something like that around. They have, each and every one of them, set a precedent for how they are going to be treated by me and others. Either through their words or actions...or by their reaction to my words or actions.

I know none of my friends (male) would or have done this to women. At least, not in my presence and I've not heard about it from their wives/girlfriends/hook-ups. So, take from it what you will. That's a literal one man focus group for you.

The answer is E. I have heard many of those comme...

2012-05-24T18:12:14.775-07:00

The answer is E. I have heard many of those comments from my own husband. And a couple times, I get pissed off enough to say, yeah....let me go get her number for you.

Well you know women do some dumbass stuff too, but...

2012-05-24T14:03:37.875-07:00

Well you know women do some dumbass stuff too, but I don't know how anyone can continue to do something after repeatedly being told not to.

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one! And ...

2012-05-24T11:24:43.982-07:00

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one! And you obviously know my thoughts on the whole "guys are douches" subject because of that post you have referenced, and thank you, by the way. No, I'm not a man-hater. I quite like them, in fact. I just don't understand why they have to be so stupid sometimes, that's all.

Now, not every single one, but a few. But I guess...

2012-05-24T11:07:48.756-07:00

Now, not every single one, but a few. But I guess I tend to date funny guys, smartasses who tend to crack jokes and I guess act like I'm one of the guys. :( I need to change that shit.

You can't tell me every single guy you have ev...

2012-05-24T10:37:31.411-07:00

You can't tell me every single guy you have ever dated has done this? That would boggle my mind. I suppose the men I've dated did fear me if by "fear" you mean "fear that I would leave them if they acted that way." Then yes, totally. There is some shit I will not tolerate. With my history of self-esteem and body image issues, it's a deal breaker. I've worked too hard to feel good about myself. I'm not going to waste my time with someone who values someone else more than they value me. I would never do that to them. Ever. I feel we're here to lift each other up, not put each other down.

Damn girl! Now you make me feel like I've onl...

2012-05-24T09:45:46.432-07:00

Damn girl! Now you make me feel like I've only dated losers. :( Maybe they fear you. lol

I don't think I've ever had a significant ...

2012-05-24T09:15:05.253-07:00

I don't think I've ever had a significant other say that to me about another woman. Unless you count the one bad apple and he would only comment on women on the internet or TV. And even he would say, "But she's not as pretty as you are" or "See, she has a great build like you do" or something to that effect. Not excusing his behavior, but even he had some level of awareness about not praising another woman to his significant other without saying that the significant other was even hotter.

I broke up with him anyway. Anyway, every other man I've dated has never said diddly squat about another woman. I've never even caught one checking out another woman. I mean, is it that hard to not whip your head around an ogle another woman?

That makes me laugh. Maybe it is that hard for some men.

I guess men are physical/visual/sexual beings and ...

2012-05-24T09:06:05.309-07:00

I guess men are physical/visual/sexual beings and some just have no filter. lol

These are the comments that stay in my head... &qu...

2012-05-24T09:01:12.167-07:00

These are the comments that stay in my head... "I'd like to wrap those long legs around me," about a co-worker, and "Trish looks hot today," about my best-friend and roommate. Both comments being 15 years ago, they obviously made an impact. Why these two and not most of the others? I have an issue with my height (I'm 5'7) because I have always wanted to be 5'10 (so my own insecurity), and I am pretty sure the best- friend one is self-explanatory, but her and I have totally opposite body types. I'm longer with barely any boob, and she is short with 40 DD's, all natural. So again, self confidence issues. Why did he say it? I figure a)men speak before they think, much of the time, and b) he was looking to get a rise out of me, in which he did... damn boys.

Thank you Sarah! Agreed.

2012-05-21T09:30:46.924-07:00

Thank you Sarah! Agreed.

I don't necessarily think it's a big part,...

2012-05-21T09:30:20.392-07:00

I don't necessarily think it's a big part, maybe a little part.

I couldn't agree with you more. The perfect fo...

2012-05-19T11:56:32.932-07:00

I couldn't agree with you more. The perfect formula for parenting is a parent who loves their child and does the best they can for them, plain and simple. That can come in aso many different forms!